The problem with modern relationships is that we expect from one person what our ancestors got from a whole village.
We place the burden of expectations on one single person what should be the burden of an entire community.
You could blame romantic Hollywood movies, TV shows, magazines, novels, and clever marketing for this confusing state of expectations. Most of us are waiting to be happy in relationships because we believe that one person can give us the bliss we desire.
The one. Our soul mate.
What’s wrong with this narrative?
Find Your Soul First
We are constantly disconnected from our deep, inner selves. As a result, we are disconnected from our own core. Lost and disoriented, we try to find our true north by placing all our unmet desires on the narrow shoulders of our romantic relationships. Your boyfriend, wife or lover can never fulfill the deep desire in you that leaves you with a feeling of incompleteness.
Spend time in mindfulness practice every day. Get comfortable with yourself, in silence. Be alone with your thoughts and pay attention to their meandering paths.
Find Your Tribe
The one is actually a collection of many.
When you have a strong network of friends and family around you, the burden of fulfilling your emotional needs is evenly distributed. Your romantic relationship has room to breathe and grow.
Look for people who have similar interests and outlook in life and get to know them better. Engage in social activities that bring out the best in you. Have interests that do not involve your romantic partner.
When you are connected with your purpose and have found your tribe, you will also realize that your romantic partner starts looking more like ‘The One’ you imagined them to be.
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