Resolving Conflict in Personal Relationships
Conflict occurs when an individual does not get what he or she wants.
It could be an internal state of mind or an external set of circumstances.
An internal cognitive dissonance occurs when your expectations are not matched by your reality. In other words, your circumstances are far from ideal.
External conflict happens because your personal goals conflict with someone else’s or with a group’s goals. If you are not prepared to modify your goals, dissatisfaction with the other person or group becomes inevitable.
Most conflict is caused by a clash of values.
Make your values clear to yourself. Consult your core values constantly to protect yourself from distraction.
Consistently making choices that contradict your values will result in dissatisfaction and conflict later.
How do you avoid conflict from escalating?
ASK QUESTIONS AND SEEK UNDERSTANDING
Asking questions is a quick way to diffuse the situation and seek understanding of the real issue.
When you ask questions, pay attention without interrupting them.
You will have to bite your tongue, hold your ego and just listen to their opinions. When you have allowed them to express their concerns and vent their frustrations, it’s your turn to calmly express what you are experiencing in the moment.
STATE YOUR FEELINGS
Resolving conflict quickly is possible when you can remain calm and state your feelings. Avoid spinning into a spiral of arguments, debates, and blame-games.
Maintaining your cool, simply let the other person know how their actions or words have affected you.
“When you are constantly late, it makes me feel disrespected,” or, “I feel afraid and threatened when you start shouting at me.”
End conflict with a firm resolution because any conflict you run from will be waiting for you in a future season in your life.
Sheevaun Moran is a business advisor, master coach, quantum energy thought leader and the founder of Energetic Solutions. She uses business principles with energetic techniques to help more than 25,000 entrepreneurs, CEOs and leaders bring instant focus and shifts to clarity, purpose, and profits.
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