When Is Being Yourself a Bad Thing?
We have talked a lot about being your authentic self. And while we stand by that – you should never try to be someone that you’re not – is there every a time where hiding your true self is best? An article in The New York Times says yes.
When Being Yourself Is Terrible Advice
As the article reads, “We all have thoughts and feelings that we believe are fundamental to our lives, but that are better left unspoken.”
If you don’t think so, trying acting on what you’re thinking all the time and see how people react. As the author of the article above did, his experiment with authenticity resulted in a lot of negative feedback from others. The author also wrote that, “Deceit makes our world go round.”
Are You a High Self-Monitor?
A low self-monitor is guided by their inner feelings; a high self-monitor scans for social cues and tries to avoid awkwardness. While the latter group may be labeled as phonies, studies show that high self-monitors advance faster in their careers and earn a high status than do their low self-monitored counterparts. On the flip side, low self-monitors tend to have happier marriages and lower rates of divorce.
The take away? Be your authentic self, but reserve absolute authenticity for private relationships, and know when a filter is a good idea.
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