Conflict is a regular feature in the development of any relationship. When two people or people groups interact over a period of time, disagreements and differences surface to build tension.
Resolving conflict requires emotional maturity – the knowledge to know when to put your emotions aside and operate with logic and also when to let your emotions express themselves in a calm manner.
Fights and arguments break out when one or both parties are not getting what they want. The natural consequence is to become defensive and ‘fight for your right.’
The first step you need to take to resolve conflict is to ask questions for the source of the other person’s disagreement and then… just listen.
Listen Patiently – Do Not Interrupt
When the other person is expressing their frustration, they might even resort to name calling and saying things you do not agree with.
Never mind – just listen.
At this point, you need to keep these three letters in mind – D.N.T. (do not talk).
Let the other person give you a complete assessment of the situation from their perspective. At no point are you going to offer your rebuttal, your wisdom or correct them.
It will be an exercise in self-control to put your ego aside. But, to gain the relationship, you will have to relinquish being right.
What Is The Goal You Are Both Trying To Achieve?
Now that the other person has expressed their concerns, what is the goal? What needs to be achieved? Go back to the original thing you were fighting about and start to offer solutions.
Remember not to get emotional and start suggesting that you are right and they are wrong. Simply ask if you both can find a suitable solution. The key word is, ‘ask.’
If your partner in the conversation is emotionally charged, they may not cooperate at first but when they feel your calm energy and solution-focused mindset, they will come around.
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