The language that you use has a major effect on how you come off to people. The largest form of communication, when you use certain words or phrases, your credibility and effectiveness can be diminished. To improve your positive influence on others, particularly in the workplace, here are three things to stop say today:
- “You Always…” or “You Never…”
When you talk in absolutes (which are almost never complete truths) you create broad generalizations. These generalization can close the door to more effective dialogue, leave people feeling alienated and usually lack insight.
- “No Offense, but…”
If you have criticism to offer, offer it – do not try to sugar coat it with a compliment first, or with a statement that you do not want to be offensive. Everything that comes from your mouth should have value; a fake compliment to ease a blow or a statement of “no offense” does not add any value.
- “I don’t understand it.”
Saying that you are confused or do not understand something will not get you anywhere. Instead, ask specific questions to clarify what it is you do not understand. You can also use the phrase, “Help me to understand what you feel/think/are doing.”
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