When people lack self-confidence, they can actually hide their gifts from the world at large. Some personal development gurus might even say that overconfidence is equally as detrimental to our well-being.
Either way, many people nowadays are searching online for techniques on how to gain confidence as they try to fulfill their potential on life’s journey.
Whether it’s a career or a romantic relationship, there’s a strong correlation between confidence and happiness. The challenge is how we define confidence in the first place or rediscover it when we’ve lost it altogether.
Since confidence is a mental abstraction, a part of our psyche that’s not so simple to characterize, we learn as children express it or suppress it unconsciously.
The answer to how to gain confidence – and stop hiding our sometimes weird and beautiful gifts from the world – depends on recognizing unconscious behaviors and changing them once and for all.
1 . Second-guessing ourselves
Everyone second guesses themselves at some time in their lives, but not everyone continues to do it through their lives. People in high-paced occupations, bustling with high-stakes decisions and stressful moments, tend to second-guess themselves the most.
When we constantly criticize the fruits of our labor, we can’t grow in the core of our being, gaining legitimate confidence, not pride.
2 . Constant yearning for reassurance
Like second-guessing, a constant need for validation and reassurance hides who we are to the world. Seeking comfort, even when it’s obviously not necessary, can turn people away.
No one wants to be around a person who can’t seem to make decisions without “bounding ideas off” everyone first. Essentially, gaining confidence depends on breaking the reassurance cycle, but people have to recognize it.
3. Bad communication
We’re social creatures as human beings. We live in close kit communities, raise families, and choose our circle of friends carefully.
These social characteristics occur naturally, but that doesn’t mean that people automatically have good communication skills—some need to work at it to reach their potential.
In the world we inhabit – full of distractions from mobile applications to worldly possessions we don’t need to live – it’s all-too-easy to start giving negative social cues.
When we hide from the world, we look down as we pass people at work; we look away at nothing in particular, and when we make eye contact, we try to avoid it.
* Tip on how to gain confidence: make an effort to make eye contact with co-workers, don’t avert your gaze immediately, and smile!
4 . Criticizing others for self-edification
It’s common for successful people to forget what got them there in the first place. No one succeeds alone in this world, but many people begin behaving as if they did.
Criticizing others to make oneself feel more powerful and “right” is the most harmful way to hide your gifts away. It doesn’t show confidence; it shows weakness.
Gaining confidence once and for all depends on not sizing people up in every possible way.
In the end, how to gain confidence the right way relies on self-awareness today and the desire to be greater tomorrow.
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