Boundaries are either visible or invisible lines that separate two entities. In a sporting context, a boundary separates the playing field from the area that is considered ‘out of play.’
In a relationship, a boundary is a figurative line that separates what you consider your personal space and the realm where you get to exercise your individual will.
Why is a boundary essential?
When you have strong boundaries, you will not give too much of yourself or let other people control your reality. In both cases, you will end up frustrated that you are not living the life you desire.
Be Proactive With Boundaries
Don’t wait until things go terribly wrong before stating your needs. If you are an introverted person and your partner needs the constant stimulation of crowds to feel energetic, then you need to clearly state your preferences.
Or perhaps you require a certain number of hours of sleep each night to be functional the next day. Protect your sleep-time.
Maybe your partner’s behavior in some contexts makes you uncomfortable. Speak up and let them know that you are not going to tolerate behavior that you consider disrespectful towards you.
If others are not willing to respect your needs, you need to be firm in stating your boundaries and sticking to your guns.
State The Consequences
More importantly, decide on the consequences of overstepped boundaries. If for instance your partner continues with the behavior that you find offensive, let them know that there will be a consequence the next time it happens.
And here’s the most important part of this process – when your partner violates your boundary, you have to stick to your agreement and carry out the consequence despite their pleas and despite your own pain in carrying out that action.
If you put up fences at the top of the cliff, you won’t need an ambulance at the bottom.
Sheevaun Moran is a business advisor, master coach, quantum energy thought leader and the founder of Energetic Solutions. She uses business principles with energetic techniques to help more than 25,000 entrepreneurs, CEOs and leaders bring instant focus and shifts to clarity, purpose, and profits.
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