No one wants to be the couple that is always in conflict. You see them on the roadside, arguing in public over anything and everything.
The signs of an unhealthy relationship are easy to spot. Constant arguments, heated battles, and fights that spin out of control. Sometimes, you have to accept that the best resolution to conflict in a relationship is to walk away from the person because you are both incompatible.
Part 1 of this post deals with tactics to resolve conflict. This post goes a step further to help you identify if the conflict can be resolved.
Is Conflict A Sign Of Control?
Is your partner initiating arguments to exert control over you? Pay close attention to your conflicts and observe if they lead to you or your partner feeling restricted. If they do, this pattern is a huge red flag for your relationship.
Is your partner unnecessarily jealous, demands your attention, pressures you into activities or commitment you are not ready for, or tries to limit the time you spend with friends, there is a strong likelihood that they are trying to control you.
Despite their best intentions of looking out for your safety, these arguments tend from trust issues and lead to an abusive relationship. You may need to seek help from a counselor if you want to continue in such a relationship.
Be Selective With Your Conflict
Choose your battles, don’t try to fight at every given opportunity. Sometimes, you have to agree to disagree. Relationships work better when you give.
Decide what is important to you and what issues are worth fighting about. Are you bickering over who chooses the restaurant or who picks the movies to watch every week? Look, there are some things really worth arguing over. Don’t sweat the rest, let the small stuff slide. If you are going to be mad about it two weeks from now, it’s probably something to bring up and resolve. Otherwise, adapt a positive attitude and decide not to pick the small battles that are inconsequential to you.
If you are both in disagreement over bigger issues, like having kids or where (or if) you are going to settle down – then you need to contemplate on whether you and your partner are compatible.
Can It Be Resolved
Find a middle ground and communicate your thoughts gently to your partner.
If you both care about the relationship, find a balance that keeps you both happy. Compromise is essential to resolve conflict. And finding a middle ground is a lot easier than it seems. Having common beliefs and aligned goals goes a long way in bridging the gap when you have conflict.
What do you do when you are not in agreement over the big things that really impact your lives?
If you feel like you have to compromise your dreams, beliefs, and morals, then you should really consider if this relationship is right for you.
It is important for you and partner to see eye-to-eye on the important things that you cannot sacrifice.
Keep these tips in mind the next time you argue and you will be able to handle your conflicts in a much more healthy and constructive way.
Sheevaun Moran is a business advisor, master coach, quantum energy thought leader and the founder of Energetic Solutions. She uses business principles with energetic techniques to help more than 25,000 entrepreneurs, CEOs and leaders bring instant focus and shifts to clarity, purpose, and profits.
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